God's Answer

I was really depressed for the whole week, I can't eat much (1 meal for a day), unending flowing of tears, lethargic consciousness at daytime, stabbing pain in the chest, sleepless nights... every painful event imaginable yet after hearing today's mass I can really say that God gave me an answer.

I'm physically ill (fever, colds, tonsilitis & frequent fainting spells) but as a future nurse I know how to treat my own sickness yet I need someone to take care of me, Thank God my mother's here, she attended to all my needs. Yet I'm emotionally ill too and it's much painful than any sickness imaginable. It's an inexplicable pain that is beyond what I can bear, even though I can smile and kid around, there's a mask that's been concealing the sadness and hopelessness dwelling within me but after today's blessed mass, I was able to regain myself from the slump of despair.

Amidst the heavy rain and my illness state, I attended mass at Edsa Shrine with my mom. There were a few people came to hear the mass, maybe it's because of the weather but I was so persistent to the attend the holy mass for I was in need of spiritual & emotional healing. I was praying to God before the mass started, I was asking for a sign or an answer to the root of my depression and after the mass. God gave me the answer.

Today's Gospel was about two kinds of worries and God's way of answering our questions. The first kind of worry is what we call CONCERN. It's the healthy and good worry. While the other one is what we call ANXIETY, the bad and unhealthy one. I'm the person who worries too much and most of them were anxieties, that's why lately i feel heavy hearted, crying and ended up doing nothing. But after hearing Father's sermon, I felt God answered my question through the mass, maybe not all my questions but at least I now realized that...

God may not answer all the questions that my heart desires to ask but He will answer the questions according to His will/purpose for me.

Being anxious all the time about the people whom I love and even with myself is unhealthy and it won't give me that peace of mind while being concern to them and trusting God's plans for them and me will make my heart feel at ease.

It's okay to worry but worry because you're concern and not because you're anxious.

A lesson learned from today's mass that brought peace to my weary heart.

Whoah such a long journal but I'm writing this to spread God's answer to me and maybe an answer to you as well

Anyways I'll rest again for there is better recovery while sleeping

Thanks for reading God bless!